The "hihi" Page

I get emailed some pretty funny stuff from time to time so I thought I would share some of it with you via this page.  For you new hams or future hams the word "hihi" is the Amateur Radio worlds equivalent of hee hee!   or to laugh!

New FCC Test  - Submitted by my good friend Hank

FCC has announced that as soon as the new question pools are available
 (read April 15) amateur extra class, Advanced, General and Technician
 licensees with 1x2, 2X1, 2X2, 2X3 and 1x3 calls will be randomly selected
 and given 60 days to appear before an FCC examiner for a 20 question
 "mini-test" ... passing grade is 75%.
 (This is to "validate" the new pool, and "calibrate" the current crop of
 Amateur Extra, Advanced, General and Technician licensees.)
 Those who fail will be given another 60 days to re-examine with a
 certified VE, or risk losing their current privileges.

 NEW AMATEUR RADIO LICENSE EXAM
 The new amateur radio test is here. A few changes have been made. The new
 test has been designed so that the same test can be given for all license
 classes. To qualify for the higher classes of license, all you have to do
 is score better on the test. This makes things so much simpler for VE's.
 I have included a copy of the new exam.
 ====================================================================
 Please
 PRINT (that means no squiggly lines)
 YOUR NAME (what they call you)
 __________________________________________
 ADDRESS (where you live)
 _______________________________________________
 BIRTH DATE (when you were born) ________________________________
 EXAM INSTRUCTIONS:
 Make a circle (one of these round things O ) around the letter of the best
 answer! This is so we know what your answer to the question is!

 1. You TALK into a microphone with your _______.
 A. Hands B. Feet C. Toes D. Mouth E. Armpits

 2. When you talk into a microphone, you talk into _______.
 A. the front B. the back C. the top D. the bottom E. the wire

 3. "HEADPHONES" are worn over the ___________.
 A. Knees B. Eyes C. Toes D. Ears E. Lips

 4. What do you do with the AC line cord coming out of a power supply?
 A. Hold it in the air to pick up signals B. Pull on it to start the motor
 C. Talk into the plug to get real "skip DX" D. Hook it to your antenna E.
  Insert the plug into a source of power

 5. A "two meter" radio is:
 A. twice as strong as a one-meter radio B. two one-meter radios in series
 C. a CB with two meters on the front panel D. a good doorstop E. a monoband
    radio

 6. A "ten-foot mast" is how long?
 A. Three meters B. Ten pounds C. Two meters D. Tree-top tall E. Same
 length as basketball hoop is high

 7. A "Triband antenna" is made to work on how many bands?
 A. 1 B. 2 C. 3 D. 4 E. 10

 8. The "Marconi" antenna is named after:
 A. Marconi B. Mantovani C. macaroni D. Dean Martin E. martini

 9. What colors of DIODES can you buy at a Radio Shack store?
 A. Red, blue and black B. Red, yellow and green C. Orange and brown D. I
 am color blind so this is a discriminatory question and I should
 automatically get a waiver on this question. E. I have no intention of ever
using DIODES, so
 don't care what color they are.

 10. What color of SLURPEE can you buy at 7-11?
 A. Red, blue and black B. Red, yellow and green C. Orange and brown D. I
 am color blind so this is a discriminatory question and I should get
another
 waiver on this question. I now have two questions right. E. All the above

 11. You have just installed your new mobile rig in your vehicle and you
 are still parked at the curb, you need to pull out into traffic and you are
 talking to another station?
 A. You put down the mic long enough to signal that you intend to pull away
 from the curb B. You keep on talking and just pull out in traffic C. You
 open your left rear door to signal that you want to pull out in traffic,
while
 calling CQ DX on the repeater D. You install a light bulb at the top of
 your antenna so that it will flash when you are talking on the radio and
people
 will then know to let you out

 END OF EXAM.
 YOUR SIGNATURE (slap yo tag here)
 _________________________________________

====================================================================
  SCORING:

 Get FOUR correct and you get an EXTRA!!!! Get THREE right and you get an
 ADVANCED!!!! Get TWO right and you get a GENERAL!!! Get ONE right and you
 get a TECHNICIAN!!! Get None right. Go back out in parking lot and study
another
 five minutes. When you are done, come back in and try again.